Heartwings Love Notes          

 

 

Heartwings Love Notes 830 - Judge Not, or Else

Heartwings says, "When we judge another it says something about us too."

My parents taught me much by their example. My father served in many capacities as a volunteer. He was generous with his time,
talents and energy. He read for a radio station that serves the blind; he held for many years the position of treasurer for a non-profit
orchestra; and he helped out in various capacities at the church to which he belonged. My mother was a thrifty, careful provider, a
fine artist who valued creativity and encouraged it in others, and one who did her best to care for her family. However, they were
prone to something else that I had to unlearn: they frequently passed judgment on others.

My father would point out mistakes of any kind with merciless statements like "You ought to know better than to do that," or "How
could you be so stupid as to…" usually in a scornful tone. My mother was very apt to point out faults in the appearance of others. I
believe she had learned this from her own mother who was extremely focused on how she as well as her family appeared. As a
result I grew to adulthood with a judgmental attitude both about any perceived weakness and any deviation from a traditionally
attractive appearance whether that of others or of myself.

My attitudes seemed normal to me until I began to notice that not only were they unduly critical they also kept me from seeing
those I judged in a more positive light. I realized they also said something about me as well as about how I viewed others. There is a
saying to the effect that if you point one finger at someone else you are pointing three back at yourself. When I began to observe
myself as I interacted with people, I also began to understand how unkind it was to look at others in a judgmental way. After this
realization I began to learn to be merciful in the way I viewed others, and also the way I viewed myself. As I grew less critical and
more forgiving, both of others and of myself I found I now was able to perceive previously hidden virtues where before I had seen only
faults.

It is truly said that mistakes are given us as ways to learn, and that the only real negative concerning them is the failure to do so. I
rejoice that I have been able to unlearn these harmful attitudes and instead practice a more merciful way of perceiving both others
and myself. By their definition, judgments close the mind to any changes in how people and their behavior or appearance are seen.
Being one who always wants to continue learning and growing I try to make sure that in the event I do find myself judging anyone
that I immediately look beyond my original thought to become more open minded, less critical, and more merciful in my perception

May you find ways to move beyond any old ways of thinking that may no longer be of use to you.

I welcome any comments, suggestions or thoughts you may have to share. It is delightful to hear from my readers, and I treasure your
responses.

I love to hear from readers and would be honored if you would comment and let me know any suggestions or thoughts. If a friend sent you this, you can sign up at my web site, www.heartwingslovenotes.com, where more love notes can be found in the archives.

Blessings and Best Regards,
Tasha Halpert
 

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