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Heartwings Love Notes 874 - Compassion Aids Patience

Heartwings says, "Being patient with others is easier than being patient with ourselves."

As a small child I insisted my hair ribbons match my socks. It seems I am addicted to seeking perfection. There is a story by Edgar Allen Poe called, The Fruit at the Bottom of the Bowl. It tells of a man who was apprehended for his crime because he had worked so hard to make sure he left no fingerprints at the scene. Insisting on having all my ducks in a row is frustrating as well as a bad habit of mine. I am trying to eliminate it, and I could be doing better. Patience and perfectionism don't go well together.

Take tidying--it's endless if I let it be. There is another favorite story of mine: A nice couple attracted the attention of P.T.Barnum, so the story goes, and he gifted them with a brand new sofa. Sadly, the rest of their living room furniture looked shabby by comparison, so they scrimped and saved and bought new. Then they had to paint the living room, and so it went until everything in their home was new except—you guessed it the no longer new, now shabby sofa. Tidying becomes endless because whatever isn't tidied shows up more vividly.

So then I feel compelled to continue. The trick is to know when to stop, call it a day, and resume later. However my fear is that I won't get back to the work at hand because other things will crop up that demand my attention. Trying to be patient with what needs doing is an important focus for me. The chief hindrance? Without wishing to, I have slowed down. I just cannot move as fast as I once did. Part of this is because being somewhat clumsy I am trying to be careful not to make mistakes, and part is because age and arthritis have affected my agility.

Patience with myself is my task now, and it's not easy. I once had an elderly counseling client who constantly lamented that he could not move the way he wanted to. I now understand his frustration. What I have learned is that the secret to having patience is to have compassion. Over the years I taught myself to feel compassion for others who struggle. Now I need to apply it to myself. When I do, patience comes more easily. I have realized that being kind to myself is as important as being kind to others. I am patiently working on it.

May you find it in your heart to be patient with others and also with yourself

Want an autographed copy of my new book Up To My Neck In Lemons? Send me a check for $15 Postage included, to P.O. Box 171, North Grafton, MA 01536, and learn about lemons--actual, poetical and metaphorical. Make your life's lemons into lemonade and enjoy my book a sip or so at a time.
 

I love to hear from readers and would be honored if you would comment and let me know any suggestions or thoughts. If a friend sent you this, you can sign up at my web site, www.heartwingslovenotes.com, where more love notes can be found in the archives.

Blessings and Best Regards,
Tasha Halpert
 

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