Heartwings Love Notes          



Heartwings Love Notes 895 - Expectations
Heartwings says: "Sometimes what we get is not what we expected."

When I thought about the time I would be spending recuperating from my hip replacement surgery, I had great expectations. I believed that since I wasn't doing house work or errands, I would have the leisure to do what I had been putting off because I was too busy with maintenance chores. I anticipated opportunities to edit poetry and work on the chapbooks I am gathering them for, as well as to do more writing, not to mention catch up on my reading.

My expectations proved to be totally off base. I didn't have the energy to read or to focus my concentration on printed words at allómine or anyone else's. I found I needed to rest and keep my feet up most of the day, not sit at my computer. Because I needed to get up and move about every hour, I had to watch the clock. So much of my physical energy was devoted to my healing process I had little left over for anything else. To begin with this situation was very frustrating.

At first I pushed myself physically to get better faster. This proved to be counterintuitive. When I over-exerted myself, I found I needed more rest rather than less. As I understood this, I got in touch with my long standing programming about being at all costs strong, effective, and able. I was raised to push myself, to look with dismay on inability and perceived weakness. In short, I was supposed to be tough. I found that I wasn't, and that that wasn't appropriate either. I had to learn and to give in to my limits. While this was not easy, it was very helpful.

Stephen joined me in my rest. We watched funny movies, ate pizza more often, and let things slide. I took daily naps, got up late and stayed resting until I was supposed to be active. Slowly I have been able to take on more of my normal activities. As I have felt better Stephen has been able to cut back on his cooking, leaving it to me. We both prefer this. He's wonderful about helping with food prep and with cleaning up. Most importantly I have learned to ask for help when I need it. While this was not what I had expected, I am very grateful.

As the opportunity arises, may you learn more about yourself that is helpful.

PS What are some of the ways you have learned about yourself and how has it been helpful? I love to hear from my readers. You make my day! As you go about your days I wish you every joy.

I love to hear from readers and would be honored if you would comment and let me know any suggestions or thoughts. If a friend sent you this, you can sign up at my web site, www.heartwingslovenotes.com, where more love notes can be found in the archives.

Blessings and Best Regards,
Tasha Halpert

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